It’s been quite a week, as the nation mourned the passing of former President Reagan. I never voted for the guy, but in spite of myself was often swept away by his ability to speechify and generally charm and disarm us all. God bless him, he did have a sense of humor about himself and the world, and that is sorely lacking these days. Anyway, we watched some of the coverage, and read some of the many articles written about him. I didn’t change my opinion of him, but for better or worse he did change the world. The public viewing in Simi Valley of his casket was not something we were prepared to attempt, but a good friend of ours (currently unemployed, not, to paraphrase Seinfeld, that there’s anything WRONG with that) decided to take the bull by the horns, seize the day, grab the golden ring…okay, you get the point. Anyway, her description of the adventure was too good not to share, so without further ado, here is her report from the front:
“Since President Reagan’s “viewing” is happening in my neighborhood I decided to take advantage of this historical event.
Plan A: I thought that I’d jog the 4-5 miles from home to the Reagan Library tomorrow morning around 5:30. I don’t need to wait for “no stinkin’ busses” to shuttle me (a park & ride deal). Kill two birds with one stone, right? Get my run in and witness history. NOT. Apparently, the secret service doesn’t like that idea. Thou shall be shuttled. Sounds like control issues to me!
Plan B: The clever person I am it made sense to wait until the masses had come & gone before going over to Moorpark College and waiting in line for the shuttle busses that take people to the library. The alarm went off at 2:30 a.m. & I walked the 1/2 mile from home over to the College. The empty busses were all lined up, everything running smoothly, like clockwork.
Yeah, I’m smart. No waiting in ridiculous lines for this kid. I asked the officer at the corner where to board the [bus]. He looked at me a little funny, walked me across the street and pointed to the parking lot. “Stand in the back of that line.”
Everyone’s a comedian.
It took me literally 20-30 minutes just to FIND the end of line. There was a sea of people that snaked in and out, around, through, the campus. It was unbelievable!!! Don’t even think about having to use the rest room – although the familiar blue porta-potties were there.
Think positive. OK, I’ll get all my cards written, update my resume, write my last will & testament while waiting. Then, I’ll read the book I brought in my backpack. I was prepared, a former girl scout. Also in the back pack was my notebook, LED flashlight, cards, address book, calendar, water, (no caffeine), power bar and dove bar chocolates.
The chatter going around the line included estimated waits of 4-6 hours to get onto the shuttle, another 4 hours to get into the Reagan Library to view the coffin con ex-pres, only to wait in another line to catch the shuttle back to the college.
The final straw was when I overheard that NO cell phones or cameras were permitted, even of the busses. Security. Both items were included in my backpack. I was fully stocked, ready for a long wait.
I decided that the only dead presidents I wanted to see were on green paper.
I proceeded to take a “short-cut” across campus and wound up going up (When in doubt go uphill) & up & up to the zoo. I got scared because there were two guys about 1000 feet behind me. At the top of the hill I could see the road directly below me. Bushwhacking 101. I wore sweats and jumped the fence… It was too steep and too bushy so I turned back. Oh, where the mind goes when it’s sleep deprived. A dangerous “neighborhood.”
With cell phone in hand (so they’d know where to find my then dead body) I jumped back over the fence and followed the zoo road back over the campus. Finally, it met up with civilization. Relieved, I walked back home and de-burred my sweats.
There’s a reason God made TV. So much for my bright ideas.”