Part one of our multi-part getting-ready-to-go-on-our-first-trip-together-to-Europe series:

We are starting serious planning of our European vacation in September. The first part of the trip involves running a marathon in Medoc, in the Bordeaux region of France. We’re spending five days there, three of which will be devoted to marathon activities (primarily tasting wine, then tasting more wine, eating a lot of food, then tasting more wine, then running 26.2 miles while tasting more wine, then tasting more wine, eating more food, and tasting more wine). Oh, and you have to run in a costume. So we’ve decided to represent all that is truly American by running in Playboy Bunny costumes. That’s right, men and women.

The upsides to this marathon in the French countryside are many: beautiful scenery, live bands all along the way, wine tasting regularly from mile thirteen. The downsides are: wine tasting from mile thirteen and no port-a-potties! Apparently the French are not the big fans of port-a-potties that we Americans are, so folks just pee as they go. That’s right, men and women. I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that if I do much wine tasting from mile thirteen to the end, I may very well barf before the finish. This is as acceptable and expected, I understand, as peeing in the vineyards. So the challenge then becomes, how does one do it discreetly, and how does one practice doing it discreetly – without getting arrested, of course. Our costumes (as currently planned) will involve fishnet stockings and leotards, which to my mind gives the women a distinct advantage over the men in the quick and discreet peeing department. Barfing, well, there’s no very good way to discreetly barf, in my opinion, so it’s probably just best to puke and move on. I’m hopefully kidding about the barfing, but it seems best to at least have a plan should the worst happen.

So we have been devising really weird training programs that involve running while drinking wine. We initially thought of setting up a wine stop at somebody’s house then running around the block, stopping at the wine stop each circuit for a sip. I am now thinking that a better approach is to use these little bottles and fill each with wine. This method doesn’t restrict you to such a confined area, but still allows you to sip as you run. The downside is that if you get too far from where you started, you may be too tipsy to find your way back.

The costumes present less of an issue, given that one of our party can sew (and I don’t mean me). Bunny ears, leotard (or equivalent sort of body tight), cuffs, bunny tail, collar, running shoes, and we’re good to go. Chuck has already tested this outfit out, so we know it’s doable (he didn’t run in it, but he sure did look cute!).

We are also struggling with transportation, debating the pros and cons of driving versus taking the train. Given the places we are going, a car is a necessity, at least part of the time. We are leaning now towards a combo of trains and cars, using the trains to travel the longer distances, and using the car to get to the obscure and/or local places. The first time I traveled to Europe I was a starving student backpacker, and managed to travel for two months on around $20/day (okay, admittedly this was waaaay back in 1981). Lo these many years later, we’ll be spending more like $300/day, if you include food and lodging and travel. But we also are staying in nice places and eating good food (versus stuffing my pockets with rolls at the youth hostel in the morning so I wouldn’t have to buy any food that day) and traveling in the first class compartment of the train versus the cattle car.

The times they are a-changin’ indeed!